I?m sorry George, but your home office is very dull and un-exciting. You are going to have to do something about it! All due respect to your daughter and her interior decorating, you just can?t do good work with those surroundings. Having sold office supplies and related merchandise for 55 years, I can tell you what you will have to do!
You?ve got to ACCESSORIZE!!!
There is a hidden purpose in ACCESORIZING your home office, which is to impress other people on how important you are to them! Make them think they just can?t get along without you.
First your monitor; it has no distinction, it doesn?t stand out! Go out and buy some small size post-it notes in as many colors as possible, scribble names and numbers on them, anything or anybody?s. And then arrange them around the edges of your monitor. Artfully or hodge-podge, it makes no difference. Your visitors will certainly be impressed that you know all those people by their first names and private phone numbers.
Second are the walls! Purchase the biggest, brightest colored push-pins or thumb tacks you can find. Take bigger pieces of paper this time, scribble un-readable notes on them and hang them on the walls. You?re really impressing me now!
The next move is an extreme, so handle with care! Get two very large nails, and drive them into your office walls at opposite ends of the room. String a fairly stout cord between the two nails. Hang it at eye level, or perhaps neck level. Bigger pieces of paper this time, scribble anything that comes to mind, and take some clothes pins or large clips and hang the papers from the string. Man you are impressive!
Regardless of previous postings about your new office from members, you must have computer cords and surge suppressors littered all over the floor. They really don?t have to be hooked up to anything; they just have to be there! Put some by the door, if some of your visitors trip over them, then you are really impressing them!
Also on the floor, you must have lots of paste board boxes filled with lots of old newspapers and garden magazines. That will really get to them!
Now the last but most important thing to do to complete the ACCESSORING of your new home office; when you arrange the boxes on the floor make sure that you leave an empty space behind them, close to a wall, if possible. Select a soft comfortable head pillow, and a light weight blanket, and crawl back in there behind the boxes on the floor, and take lots of nap-breaks from you work. Anybody who checks up on you won?t notice that your not there, they will be so impressed with the ACCESSORIZING of your new home office.
Oh, when you are scribbling on those papers, make sure you display readable ?Barack? and ?Liz? and ?Phil? or other such impressive names occasionally!
