The Castle with Hiccups

[Palustris]

The Castle With Hiccups

Chapter One

The Castle definitely hiccupped. It did it once on Monday, twice on Tuesday and again on Wednesday. It was a heavy old Castle so it did not jump too far into the air, but it was enough to send the pots and pans crashing to the floor in the kitchens. The oddest thing of all was that while the Castle moved, the surrounding countryside stayed as still as it always had done. King Oswald was not happy about it. The Tuesday jump bounced him straight out of bed and on to the floor. Queen Jessamy was not pleased either. The Wednesday hiccup had made her drop a whole line of stitches on her knitting. Thomas the kitchen boy was not pleased. He was the one who had to pick up the pots and pans in the kitchen and put them back on the shelves.

To make matters worse, before and after each hiccup there was the most dreadful noise coming from somewhere deep below the Castle. The before noise sounded like, “Hoooooooo!” The after noise was “Eeeeeeeeeeee””

They were all very pleased when there was no movement on Thursday or Friday. Everyone heaved a sigh of relief and hoped that the problem had gone away.

On Saturday morning the Castle hiccupped once again. All the pots and pans jumped off the shelves and a few slates fell off the Castle roof. King Oswald was bounced right off the throne and on to the floor. His morning tea spilt all over the place. As King Oswald tried to stand he slipped in the spillage and sprained his ankle. He was not pleased and said some very unkinglike words.

He was even less pleased when the Castle staff refused to stay in the Castle for a moment longer. They packed their bags and went off down the hill into the nearby town. Only Henry the Butler, Bertram, a footman and Thomas the kitchen boy stayed behind. Henry stopped because he had not even noticed that the Castle had moved at all. It wobbled slightly for him all the time, especially after a few glasses of the King's best Port. Bertram stayed because he thought that being the only Footman in the Palace would lead to his promotion to Head Footman. Thomas stayed because he was told to by Mary, one of the chambermaids. “Someone has to keep an eye on the Princess,” she said. The Princess stayed because it was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to her so far. King Oswald stayed because he could not walk and he refused to be seen being pushed through the streets in a wheelchair. Queen Jessamy stayed because the King stayed.

There were two other people left in the Castle, the Court Magician and Princess Jasmine's old nurse. The Magician had stayed because one of the hiccups had spilt a spell which he had been working on. The result was that the poor man had forgotten everything including who and where he was. He had wandered off somewhere in the Castle and no-one had managed to find him. Nurse stayed because she did not want to leave the Princess all on her own.

Thomas and the Princess enjoyed themselves making toast and omelettes for lunch which they served in the throne room.

“It's like picnicking inside,” said the Princess.

Saturday went with no further movement as did Sunday. Hopes were raised that the disturbances were finally over. They were dashed early on Monday morning when the Castle hiccupped once again. Pots and pans went crashing in the kitchen, more slates fell from the roof. As before there were the strange noises before and after.

Henry Butler had just served the Royal family’s breakfast and gone back to his Pantry. Breakfast was toast and boiled eggs made by Thomas and the Princess. As you would expect, the sudden movement of the Castle made the breakfast dishes fall off the table. Thomas was sent for to clean up the mess.

Whilst he was busy with the brush and dust pan he muttered to himself.

"I do not know why someone does not go and look in the Dungeons,” He did not mean to say it out loud but he did.

The King heard, "What did you say?"

Thomas looked up, "I said, this is upsetting Nurse's bunions, sire."

"No you didn't, you muttered something about the Dungeons. Come on, don't be shy, spit it out, say it again," ordered the King.

Thomas said, "Someone ought to look in the Dungeons. After all that is where the noise is coming from."

"Good idea, my boy. Send for the Field Marshal." King Oswald ordered.

The Field Marshal was sent for. The kingdom was only small and there was little call for a large army. There were, in fact, only fifteen soldiers in it and all of them part time soldiers too. The Field Marshall was also the local fishmonger when he was not soldiering. He arrived, red in the face wearing his apron and still carrying the large fish which he had been filleting when the summons had arrived.

He bowed low, "Sire?"

The smell of fish was quite overpowering and King Oswald who was not very fond of fish at the best of times, had to hold his nose. He waved the fishmonger/soldier to stand further away.

"Find your men and examine the Dungeons." That is what he said, but with his nose blocked it sounded more like, "Fide yer meb add examid the Dudgods."

The Field Marshal had a small problem. He was slightly deaf. This had happened when one of the soldiers had accidentally fired his pistol next to his head. Normally he managed very well lip reading what people said to him. Also, the King usually shouted his orders so there was no problem there either. The trouble was he could not see the King's lips moving and he was too far back to hear what King Oswald said and it is hard to shout when you are holding your nose. The poor Field Marshall had no idea what the king had said.

He did not like to ask the king to repeat the orders, so he saluted, "Yes, sire. Straight away sire," and left the room to try to make sense of what he thought he had heard.

It was obvious that the King wanted the soldiers to march round the Castle. The Field Marshal, like all the townspeople knew that there was a problem with the Castle, so he assumed he and his men were to examine the walls. He rounded up the soldiers and the marched round the Castle and found nothing unusual.

He reported back to the king that they had searched without success. He saluted and went of home proud to have done his duty.

King Oswald sent for Thomas. "I have had the Dungeons searched and nothing has been found."

"Oh, that's strange." Thomas said. "May I ask a question, sire?"

"Of course," replied the king, in a good mood.

"Why did the Field Marshall and his men search round the OUTSIDE of the Castle, when the Dungeons are below the cellars, INSIDE the Castle?"

King Oswald's good mood left him. "The Field Marshall is so deaf it is hard to get him to hear anything. He will have to go, but he does sell such good fish and the Queen likes fish." He thought for a moment. "I know, I'll send Bertram, the footman."

Bertram arrived and bowed low to the King. He was one of those people who was very keen to please, but he was also very nervous.

King Oswald shouted at him which made him even more nervous. "Go and search the Dungeons."

"Yes, sire, straight away sire, right now sire!" Bertram said, but did not actually go anywhere.

"Well, go!" Oswald snapped.

"Yes, sire I am going sire, now sire."

"GO!" screamed Oswald.

Bertram fled. For a few moments the room was quiet, and then there was a quiet knock on the door. It opened slowly and Bertram's head appeared round it. "Please sire, if I may be so bold, may I take a candle with me?"

King Oswald snatched a candle from the candlestick on the fireplace and flung it at the door.

"Oh, thank you sire, thank you." Bertram picked up the candle and left closing the door quietly behind him. The room was quiet once more.

Then there was a quiet knock on the door which opened slowly once again. Bertram peered round the door. "If it pleases your majesty, may I light the candle?"

King Oswald screamed and snatched a tinderbox from the mantelpiece and threw it at Bertram.

The door closed again behind Bertram. King Oswald slumped on his throne and ground his teeth.

The door opened again. King Oswald took of his crown and flung it at the opening door as hard as he could.

"Have I upset you my dear?" Queen Jessamy asked, picking up the battered headgear. Oswald often threw his crown at the door, so he usually wore a very simple one which could be easily knocked back into shape.

Oswald apologised and the Queen pushed in a trolley with the tea things on it. She was quite enjoying herself with all the servants away.

The castle hiccupped again, spilling the royal couple’s tea all over the nice clean white cloth. Thomas came to clean up the mess. He was doing this when the door opened and Bertram came rushing in. He was so agitated he did not even bother to knock. He was white faced and trembling. There were cobwebs hanging from his hair and a dirty smut on his nose. He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. He closed his moth and tried again. No sound came out.

"Don't just stand there like a goldfish opening and closing your mouth, say something." King Oswald was never a very patient man.

Bertram tried again. "Sire, your Majesty, highness, I resign. Now." With that he turned and ran out of the room before anyone could say anything or stop him.

King Oswald shouted, “Come back here this instant." It was too late Bertram had gone. Thomas was sent after him, but he could not catch up with the fleeing man who was last seen running as fast as he could out the Town.

"And we still don't know if there is anything in the Dungeons," complained King Oswald. "Who else is there to go and look?"

"Henry, the Butler is still here," said the Queen. "Why don't you ask him to go and look dear? He spends most of his time down in the cellars. He ought to know what is going on down there."

The butler arrived. He had been sampling the King's brandy, which was very strong stuff, when he had been summoned. He stood swaying gently in the doorway.

"You sent for me sire??"

King Oswald said, "Yes, Go down into the Dungeons and see if you can find out why the castle has got hiccups."

"Yes sire," Henry turned carefully and left the room. King Oswald and Queen Jessamy settled themselves down to a game of Patience. The Queen actually played the game and King Oswald interfered. Half an hour went past without the butler reappearing.

Henry had started out for the Dungeons, but on the way he had to pass through the Wine Cellars and as he was an old man, he felt he needed something to give him the strength to climb down the steep stairs to the Dungeons. One glass led to another, and then it seemed a shame not to finish the bottle, so he did. By then he had forgotten why he had been sent and did not remember until he was halfway through the next bottle. He staggered to the top of the stairs and looked down. It looked awfully dark and steep. He decided that he had gone far enough. He returned to the throne room and stood wobbling in the doorway. When he spoke it was very slowly and carefully.

"Your Majesty, I looked at the Dun, hic, the dun, hic...........cellar and I could not see anything."

He turned and made a stately exit before collapsing in a heap in his Pantry.

Thomas put a pillow under the sleeping butler's head and went up stairs to the throne room.

King Oswald said, "Ah there you are my boy. Henry has looked in the Dungeons and found nothing."

"Sorry sire,” said Thomas, who was not a shy sort of person. "But Mr. Henry only went as far as the top of the steps. He did not actually go into the Dungeons themselves."

King Oswald was not amused. "He will have to go."

Queen Jessamy agreed. "But he has been the butler here for many, many years, we cannot just get rid of him."

"We'll think about that later," sighed the king. "Now who is going to look in the Dungeons for us?"

"I think I am the only one left, sire," said Thomas. "So it looks as if it will have to be me."

"Right" said the King, "Off you go then."

Thomas bowed and left the room. The only person, who normally took much notice of Thomas other than the kitchen maid, was Princess Jasmine. She met him coming out of the throne room.

"Hello Thomas. What is happening?" She smiled at him.

"I am going down to the Dungeons to see if I can find out why the Castle is jumping up and down." He replied.

"Do you think there is something down there?”

Thomas shrugged his shoulders. "I do not know, but it seems possible."

"Well, do be careful, no-one has been down there for years, if ever. It is supposed to be haunted."

Thomas promised to be careful and opened the throne room door for her to go and join her parents.

Thomas lit a candle and walked slowly down the dusty, narrow steep stairs which led to the Dungeons. He wondered what had upset Bertram so much. It was obvious that the footman had been down the stairs. Thomas could see footprints in the dust. Thomas walked slowly, not because he was afraid, but he did not want to bang his head on the ceiling. That is what he told himself, not noticing that the ceiling was high above his head. The door at the bottom of the stairs was not only unlocked, it was open. The smell of fish and cabbages was very strong.

The door opened on to a corridor with rooms on one side of it. They would not have made very good cells as none of them seemed to have doors.

Thomas went into the first room. It was empty. He went into the second one and almost jumped out of his skin. There was someone in it. He backed out and stood in the corridor breathing deeply, working up the courage to go back in. However, the figure came out first and spoke.

"Excuse me, can you tell me who I am?"

                                                     

         

It was the Court Magician. Thomas heaved a sigh of relief and told him.

"Thank you," replied the Magician. "Er, what did I just ask you?"

Thomas shook his head and told the Magician to go back up the stairs. The magician turned to go, but just stood at the bottom of the stairs looking up. He turned back to Thomas, "Where was I going?"

Thomas sighed, "Never mind, just sit on the stairs and I'll deal with you in a minute."

The magician sat down, muttering to himself. "What did he say my name was? He told me to do something, but I cannot remember what it was. I had better sit here on the stairs until he comes back. I wonder who he is. Who am I?" The poor man scratched his head and tried to remember.

Meanwhile Thomas was exploring further on in the Dungeons. Here the dust lay thick and undisturbed. Bertram had not come this far. He had probably seen or heard the magician and fled. All the cells appeared to be empty. Thomas was about to give up the search when he came to the last door of all, right at the end of the passageway. He tried the handle. It turned but the door would not open. It was locked. Thomas sniffed and caught a whiff of fish mixed in with rotting seaweed. It smelt like the beach did when you kicked over the piles of stuff thrown up by the high tide, after it has dried out in the sun for a few months. He put his ear to the keyhole and listened. A weird bubbling, gurgling sound came through. It sounded like the great kettle boiling away in the kitchen, mixed in with the snores of the cook who spent the afternoons sleeping in front of the fire.

[Palustris]

Chaapter One Part 2

There was nothing Thomas could do without the keys. He went back upstairs, taking the poor confused magician with him. He delivered the man to Princess Jasmine's old nurse who promised to look after him and to see that he came to no harm. For her it was like having a baby again. The poor man could not even remember how to feed himself. She sat him at the Nursery table and fed him with a spoon, after of course first fastening a bib round his neck. Nurse was happier than she had been for years.

Thomas went to see the King to report. Oswald was sat on his throne, with his damaged leg on a small stool. He was in a very bad mood still.

"Well?" he shouted as Thomas came in.

"I have looked in all the Dungeons except one and there is something in there, but the door is locked. I'll go and look if anyone knows where the keys are."

King Oswald frowned. "The Captain of the Guard usually has the keys, but when we went on our Summer holidays he gave them to me. There are a lot on the bunch so they should not that hard to find."

Thomas helped the king search the throne, but there was no sign of the keys. Thomas looked carefully round the throne room. He failed to find them.

The Queen came in with another tray of tea and biscuits. "Have you lost something dear?"

"The Castle keys," said King Oswald. "I remember Captain Smirke giving them to me, but we cannot find them now."

"You threw them at the Magician when he accidentally changed your breakfast egg into a bunch of flowers. He took them away with him." The Queen bustled about setting out the tea things.

"Oh dear," said Thomas. "That may be a bit of a problem. The Magician is still not himself yet. He probably won't be able to remember where he put them."

"Well fetch him here and we’ll ask him." King Oswald ordered.

The magician arrived with Nurse close behind.

He still looked very confused. "Who am I?" He asked.

King Oswald was still in a bad mood. He snapped at the poor man. "You are the Court Magician and you have got the Castle Keys!"

To everyone's astonishment the Magician burst into tears. Nurse came bustling forward. "Now there is no need to be nasty to the poor little lamb." She told the king.

Nurse was the only person of whom King Oswald was afraid. "No nurse, I mean yes nurse.

She led the sobbing Magician out of the room.

"Now what do we do?" asked the king of no-one in particular.

"I'll go and search his room," said Thomas.

"I'll come and help." said Princess Jasmine.

"Good idea," said the king.

The two young people left the room and climbed the spiral staircase which led to the Magician's room at the top of one of the Castle towers. The walls were lined with shelves full of books and glass jars. The Magician was a tidy man and every jar was neatly labelled. They looked but nowhere could they see any keys.

"We need a spell to give him back his memory," said Princess Jasmine. "You see what it says on those boxes on the table and I'll look at the books."

"I cannot read," Thomas said very quietly.

Princess Jasmine stared at him in surprise.

"Kitchen boys do not go to school," Thomas told her.

"Never mind," she said sympathetically. "When this is all over I will teach you."

She picked up a book from the work table in the centre of the room. It was open at a page which read, 'A spell to make things clear.'

"This must be the spell he was working on when the Castle hiccuped" she said. She read down the page. She read out the last line. "To break the spell, Invert."

"What does 'Invert' mean?" asked Thomas.

"Er, turn upside down." Princess Jasmine replied. She picked up the glass beaker which had been next to the book. In it was a greenish liquid. "But if we turn it upside down it will fall out."

"Not if we put this over it," said Thomas and he put a piece of card over the top of the beaker and turned it upside down. Not a drop leaked out.

"Very clever," said Princess Jasmine. "But now what?"

They waited for a few moments. Nothing happened. She turned the beaker back the correct way up. Nothing happened.

"Perhaps you have to get it out while it is upside down," suggested Thomas. "We need to turn the beaker over without turning the liquid over."

"There must be a spell to do it." Princess Jasmine quickly looked through the book in her hand. "Here's one 'How to turn a container over.' Quickly she read through the instructions. She picked up the Magician's wand. "Here goes!" she said. "I hope this does not turn the whole Castle upside down."

She tapped the beaker and muttered some words. Thomas did not quite hear what they were, except the last one which was "Invert"

The beaker flipped it self over while the liquid in it stayed still. There was a flash of blue light and a puff off orange smoke and the liquid disappeared leaving a solitary white pill lying in the bottom of the beaker.

Thomas emptied it into his hand. "Well I hope this works. We had better give it to him as soon as possible or your father is going to be even angrier."

They ran down the stairs to the old Nursery. Nurse was giving the Magician his tea. This was a boiled egg with toast cut into soldiers to dip in the yolk. When he had finished they gave him the pill, washed down with the warm milk Nurse had prepared for him. For a second nothing happened, then he looked surprised, then puzzled, then he hiccuped and looked up. He asked, "What's going on?"

Thomas quickly told him.

"Ah, yes I remember now," said the man.

Princess Jasmine clapped her hands. "Oh, good. Now quickly where are the Castle Keys?"

"They are in the best place for them," smiled the Magician.

"Where?" asked Thomas, "We have looked everywhere we can think of."

"They are in the lock in the front door." replied the Magician.

They ran through the corridors to the huge front doors. Sure enough there in the lock was the bunch of keys. Thomas took it and carried it to the King.

The King and Queen were having their afternoon tea. Princess Jasmine was required to join them. The reason for needing the keys was forgotten for the moment as Thomas did the work of footman, cook, kitchen maid, and of course his own job.

By the time he had finished the washing up, he was too tired to go climbing down the Dungeon stairs so he tidied up the Kitchen and put away the pots and pans and went to bed. At least the Castle had not hiccuped and the strange Hooooooooo and Eeeeeeeee sounds had not been heard. The smell of fish and rotting seaweed was a bit stronger, but Thomas thought that was because he had left the door to the cellar open.

Next morning Thomas got up early and made the King's breakfast. He had to serve it himself as Mr. Henry was feeling a bit under the weather. Now King Oswald was not the most even tempered of men in a morning before he had had his breakfast, but this morning he was in an especially bad mood. Now that almost all the servants had gone, he had been forced to find his own clothes and dress himself. It was not easy with one leg heavily bandaged up. Now he was eating his breakfast wearing odd socks and with his shirt on inside out. He was not happy. Thomas did not think it was a good time to remind the monarch about the keys.

When Thomas had cleared the breakfast dishes he went in search of Princess Jasmine. If anyone could was going to be able to ask the king for the keys it was her.

Halfway up the stairs he heard "Hooooooooo," The Castle hiccupped. From the kitchen came the sound of crashing dishes. Thomas sighed. "More tidying up," he thought. Then, as usual, came the sound of "Eeeeeeeeee."

Thomas ran up the rest of the stairs and into the throne room Poor King Oswald was sat on the floor surrounded by the cushions from the throne. Thomas helped him back up and made him comfortable. He found the crown where it had rolled under a table.

"I thought you were supposed to be finding out why that happens," snapped the king.

"Yes sire," said Thomas carefully

The King glared at him. "Then why haven't you done it?"

"You did not give me the keys, Sire," Thomas replied.

"Idiot!" King Oswald threw the bunch of keys at Thomas. Thomas caught them with a flourish. He had not spent years dodging the pans thrown by the cook without becoming very nimble footed.

"Thank-you Sire," he said sweetly and left the room before the king could find something else to throw.

He ran down towards the Dungeons, passing the Nursery on the way. The Magician was peeping out through the door. He was dressed in a blue sailor suit which was far too small for him. Thomas slowed down. The Magician whispered, "Help, get me out of here."

Thomas whispered back, "What is the matter?"

"It is the nurse. She has hidden my clothes and she won't let me go. And I have to take Cod liver oil. Please save me." The Magician looked desperate.

From inside the nursery a voice called, "Lambkin, where are you. It is time for your cod liver oil. If you are a good boy you can have a sweetie." It was Nurse.

"The worst part is, I loathe the sweets and she insists I have one." The magician pulled a face and shuddered.

"Never mind," said Thomas. "I will find a way to rescue you after I have looked in the Dungeons."

Then the poor Magician was whisked back through the door and Thomas heard Nurse say, "You are a naughty boy hiding from Nursy-wursy like that. You shall have a double dose of Cod Liver oil and no sweet."

Thomas smiled and continued his downward journey. He reached the Dungeons without further delay. The smell of rotting seaweed and fish was even stronger.

He made his way to the locked door. He tried all the keys until the very last one fitted. The lock was very stiff and difficult to undo. The door too was stiff. It probably had not been opened for many years. Thomas stepped inside. He stopped in horror. In front of him was a large greenish, scaly leg which ended in sharp wicked looking claws at the floor and went up into the darkness of the ceiling. Thomas gulped and backed quickly out and closed the door very quietly. He fled back up the stairs. He forgot all about rescuing the poor Magician.

[ideasguy]

Excellent

James is on a sleepover here tonight, Eric. I will print it off (copied into WORD) and we will enjoy this at bedtime

[Palustris]

Chapter Two

It was a long way from the Dungeons to the throne room and Thomas was very much out of breath when he arrived, so he could only stand and gasp when he went in. King Oswald stared at him.

After several deep gulps Thomas at last could speak. "Sire, I beg to report, there is a Dragon in the Dungeons."

"Very good Thom.......................WHAT!" King Oswald sat up straight.

"A dragon, Sire!" Thomas repeated.

"Are you sure?" The King asked.

Thomas described what he had seen.

"But this is terrible, "exclaimed the King.”What am I going to do? It will destroy the Castle and my kingdom. It might even eat me!" He slumped on the throne moaning quietly and wringing his hands.

Queen Jessamy, who had been sat quietly knitting came over and took charge, as she usually did when there was an emergency.

"Send for the Captain of the Guard" she ordered. Then quietly to Thomas she added, “The Field Marshall is not going to be much use I fear.”

Since there was no one else to do it, Thomas had to run down into the town to find the Captain.

By the time he arrived Oswald had recovered a little from his panic. "Ah, Captain Smirke, there appears to be a dragon in the Dungeons. Call out your men and deal with it, there's a good chap."

"Yes sire," The Captain of the guard saluted and half turned to go. He stopped and turned back. "Did you say Dragon sire?"

"Yes, I did," Oswald snapped. "Now jump to it, or whatever it is you military men do."

The Captain of the Guard did not jump to it. He stood still, obviously deep in thought, his lips moving slightly as if he was reading from something only he could see.

"Well, man what is it?" Oswald was getting impatient.

"I am very sorry, Sire, but my contract says that I am to defend the Kingdom from invasion by enemy soldiers. There is no mention of dealing with dragons."

"Are you refusing to fight the dragon?" Oswald asked.

"I am afraid so, sire," replied the soldier.

"You are removed from your command." Oswald was very angry.

"Thank-you!" said the ex Captain of the guard and left the room.

"Now what do we do?" Oswald asked plaintively.

"We issue a proclamation," said the Queen

"Saying what?"

"Whosoever rids the kingdom of the dragon will be rewarded with half the kingdom," she replied.

"Here, hang on minute. The place is not that big without giving half of it away," protested Oswald

"Then it has to be the other one then, “replied the Queen. "Whosoever rids the kingdom if the dragon shall be rewarded with the hand of the Princess Jasmine in marriage."

"That's better," said the King

He hobbled over to his desk and wrote out the proclamation. Thomas was sent to take it to the printers with orders for a hundred copies to be posted up in all the neighbouring kingdoms. Thomas, not being able to read did not know what the proclamation was about. When he returned to the Castle he met Princess Jasmine coming out of the throne room in tears.

"I do not want to marry someone just because they can use a sword and kill a dragon," she sniffed.

Thomas did not understand what she meant until she explained. He too was upset. He and the princess had been friends for a long time. He did not want her to marry a stranger, unless she wanted to.

He had little time to do more than offer sympathy before he had to go and carry out his duties.

Next morning there was a thunderous knocking on the Castle gates. Thomas, as the only one available had to leave Princess Jasmine making the king's breakfast and answer it. He swung open the heavy door. In the doorway stood the biggest, broadest, strongest looking man he had ever seen.

                                                         

"Fear, not, your troubles are at an end. I Sir Roger will defeat the dragon and save you from its fiery destruction."

The knight had a loud booming voice to match his physical size. Behind this knight was a slight figure, richly dressed in brightly coloured clothes. He removed his feathered had with a flourish and bowed low.

 

                                                             

"Sir Cedric at your service," he said.

"Be so good as to escort us to King Oswald."

Thomas moved to one side and allowed them to enter. He was about to close the door when a third, rather chubby person came puffing up the path. He arrived, red faced and panting.

"The horses would not cross the Causeway to the Castle," He grumbled. It is a long way to walk too." He took a deep breath and went on. "Prince Bombo at your service."

         

                                         

Sir Roger snorted. "Fat oaf"

Prince Bombo ignored the insult. "I thought I saw your horses on the road."

Cedric bowed low. "Good day to you Prince Bombo, how pleasant to see you again, all of you indeed. Just a flying visit, one hopes?"

"I have come to rid the Castle of this Dragon and marry the princess," announced the Prince ignoring the other two.

"Ha!" snorted Sir Roger, who seemed to have a poor opinion of the latest arrival.

Thomas led the three men to the throne room, announced them and returned to making the breakfast. King Oswald was forced into being polite and he was not finding it very easy. Thomas brought in the tray and was sent for more, so the visitors could join the king.

When he had served them Thomas remembered about the Magician and went to see if he could rescue him from the Nurse. In the Magician's room he found some clothes, made a neat parcel of them and took them down to the old Nursery. Nurse was away, looking for a cuddly toy. The poor magician was lying in a cot.

Thomas had to laugh, the cot was not big enough and the poor man had to lie curled up. He was wearing a frilly nightie and a blue night cap. Swallowing his giggles Thomas gave the man his clothes. When the magician was dressed they fled to the Magician's room in the Tower. They leant, panting, against the locked door.

"That woman is impossible!" said the Magician. "You have no idea. Now what can I do for you?"

Thomas said, "What do you know about Dragons?" Quickly he explained all that had happened and about the three adventurers in the throne room.

"Let me see. I am sure there was a book about Dragons somewhere in here." He went to a shelf and took down a book called "Dragons. Truths and Myths.” He opened it and read out the first part.

"There are three types of Dragon. Royal Dragons which the most rare, Mountain Dragons, which are the type most commonly met and Sea dragons. These rarely come to shore. There are many myths................" The Magicians voice trailed off. I will have to read this through, but which kind do we have here, do you think?"

Thomas shook his head. "I only saw one leg and that was big," said Thomas.

"Any smell of smoke?" The Magician asked.

"The only smell down there was of dead fish and rotting seaweed." Thomas said.

The Magician scratched his head, "Well until we know for sure, we have to assume the worse. And anyway it does not matter all dragons are very hard to kill. That is only done by Saints, very brave knights and the occasional lucky squire."

“Cannot you use some magic against it?" Thomas wanted to know.

"Sorry, no. Dragons of all kinds are immune to magic. They are magic you see, so magic has no effect on them. It usually takes a very sharp sword."

Thomas left the room sadly. He wandered down the stairs to the Dungeons. He did not really know what he was going to do, but Princess Jasmine would not be happy married to any one of those three.

The smell of rotting fish was even stronger now. The little door was partly open. Thomas stuck his head round it. He found himself looking into a pale yellow eye. It stared unblinkingly at him. He swallowed nervously and tried to run. His legs would not obey. The Dragon spoke.

"Good morning, or at least I assume it is morning, it is difficult to tell down here."

"Er, good morning." Thomas stammered in reply. He had expected the dragon to eat him or breathe flames at him, not be polite.

The dragon went on." I saw you yesterday, but you left before I could speak. I was hoping you would return, you look like a sensible boy and I need your help."

Thomas was even more surprised. Dragons did not ask for help from kitchen boys, at least they did not in any stories he had ever heard.

"You won't eat me, will you?" Thomas was still very wary.

"The great big yellow eye opened even wider and Thomas could have sworn a look of pain crossed it.

The dragon sounded upset when it answered. "What an awful thing to accuse anybody of doing," it said with a shudder. The smell of rotting fish got stronger.

"Well, some dragons are supposed to eat people," said Thomas in a bit of a huff.

"I know they do," said the beast. "Some people kill other people, but one does not go around accusing all people of being murderers just because of that, does one?"

"No, I suppose not," Thomas said slowly.

The dragon gave a loud sniff. "And anyway it is only rogue mountain dragons who occasionally eat people and usually only when they are too old to hunt any more."

Thomas asked cautiously. "Well, what kind of dragon are you and what do you eat then?"

"I am a Sea dragon and we eat seaweed, luscious lovely green seaweed with just a little red on the side.......Oh, but please do not talk about food. I haven't eaten for 100 years and I am starving." It heaved a great big sigh and for a moment Thomas found himself choking on the smell of rotting fish. At least now he knew where that was coming from.

"Why have you not eaten for one hundred years?" Thomas was beginning to lose some of his fear.

"Well, you see we dragons tend to sleep for a hundred years at a time and I may have over slept a little," explained the creature. "When I woke up just now, I find some careless person has built a castle round me"

"Why did they not see you when they built the Castle?"

"When I am asleep I look just like the rocks, clever really and a lot safer, usually," the dragon went on, "Now I am stuck and I cannot get down to the sea shore to eat. As you can see I am starting to go blue. When I am blue all over I shall die." A large tear rolled down its cheek and splashed on the floor. It reeked of rotting seaweed. Thomas leapt back.

"Sorry!" apologised the dragon. "I really should not feel sorry for myself. Now can you help?"

"I'll try, but what can I do?" asked Thomas.

"Get me out of here," said the Dragon.

"Why not just knock the wall down. Surely you are strong enough for that," suggested Thomas.

The dragon sighed. "Well, yes I am strong enough, but you see when they built the Castle, they built the wall right across the end of my tail and it is stuck. I can wriggle it a bit, but every time I do I hear the most awful crashing noises. I shout "Excuse me," before I do it and "Sorry" afterwards. I feel awful breaking up people’s houses like that."

"I suppose so," agreed Thomas.

The dragon sniffed and another smelly tear splashed down. "I wish I had never left home," it said.

“The Magician said that Sea dragons are only ever seen at sea. Why DID you leave?" Thomas was curious.

"It is Grandfather's fault really. You see he snores and when he snores nobody sleeps," said the Dragon. "The Royal dragons on the next islands used to get really upset about it and they threatened to burn us out. So, as the youngest and best flier I was sent to see the Witch of the Dark Forest for a cure for Grandpa's snoring."

"Bad is it?" Thomas asked

"Have you ever stood on the battlements and listened to a thunderstorm in the distance and seen lightening flashes, and thought it was a storm at sea, but then wondered because it never arrives on shore?"

Thomas nodded.

"Well, that is Grandfather snoring and the Royal dragons getting upset about it and breathing flames into the air."

"Did the Witch give you anything?"

"Oh, yes, it is here in this pouch." The dragon lifted a wing and showed Thomas a pouch. "There is a bottle of stuff in here which she guarantees will work."

"I did not think the Witch helped any one," said Thomas.

"When she gets a dragon scale and a piece of Dragon claw in return, she helps" replied the Dragon.

"Well, I hope it works," said Thomas.

"Oh, it does. I tried some before I fell asleep here and I never woke myself up once which is what I used to do. We all snore you see, family problem."

Then a thought struck Thomas. "Oh dear."
 Upstairs there were three men who had come to kill the dragon. He felt rather sorry for the creature. After all it was not its fault that the Castle had been built on its tail. Quickly he explained to the Dragon.

"Oh dear," exclaimed the dragon. "Well I won't fight. I refuse to fight anybody. It is not in my nature to fight. I am against violence."

"Could you not make an exception this time?" Thomas asked. He rather liked the thought of seeing those three fleeing in terror.

"No, positively not, never. You will have to protect me."

"Thank you very much," said Thomas.

"My pleasure!" said the Dragon graciously.

"That is not what..............Oh never mind. I will see what I can do."

"You, I er, hesitate to ask, could not manage a little seaweed, could you, even a small handful? No, I suppose not, silly of me to ask never mind, it is not that important really." The Dragon sounded very sad.

"I will try," promised Thomas.

[Palustris]

Chapter Three

Thomas dashed up the stairs to the Magician's room with his news. The Magician was very interested and sympathetic. He agreed that the first thing to do was to get rid of the three would be heroes. “I will work on that while you go and find some seaweed for the dragon. It would be a shame if it died.”

Thomas went down to the seashore with a wheelbarrow that he found in the Gardener's shed. There was plenty of fresh green seaweed on the rocks and it did not take long for him to fill it up. He trundled the barrow down to the Dungeons. It was not easy to get it down the steps and in the end he had to abandon it and carry the green slimy weed in his arms. The Dragon was very grateful and tucked in. It lost a little of its blueness, but Thomas could see, even in the gloom, that it would take a lot more food to turn the dragon fully green. He sighed. “More work,” he thought.

After washing off as much of the green slime as he could, Thomas went back up to the Magician. “Ah, come in my boy. I have found some spells which are just the thing.” Thomas could see that the table in the middle of the room was full of bottles and boxes and open books.

“If those three want a dragon to deal with, then we must give them one. Can you find out exactly how each one intends to deal with the dragon?”

Thomas thought he could.

“Good. Now I have a spell that will make part of the Castle wall disappear for a few minutes, but it will take some time to be ready. It is up to us to protect it until then.”

Thomas nodded.

There was a noise on the stairs. The Magician shuddered. “Have you seen that dratted nurse woman?”

“She was wandering round down stairs before with a spoon and a bottle of cod liver oil shouting for her 'Lambkin'. Oh and she had a bag of sweets too.” grinned Thomas.

“Well, in that case I shall put a spell on the door so that only you can enter. Pity I would like to have talked to the dragon. Now you had better go, the King was calling for you before.”

Thomas fled down the stairs to the Throne room.

“Where have you been?” King Oswald did not sound pleased.

“Sorry, Sire. I was preparing lunch,” said Thomas. He did not say for whom he had been preparing lunch though.

“Humph. Show these three gentlemen to their rooms, will you. They are going to begin ridding us of the dragon tomorrow,” ordered King Oswald.

Thomas showed the three adventurers to the guest rooms. Queen Jessamy and Princess Jasmine had been busy getting them ready. Sir Roger began polishing his armour. “Need a good sharp sword to cut off its head.”

Sir Cedric sniffed and said “Barbarian, I am going to put the beast to sleep with my music and then stab it through the heart with my knife.”

“Well, I am going to poison the beast,” announced Prince Bombo, producing a small purple bottle from his pocket.

Thomas was sent for tools for Sir Roger, lute strings for Sir Cedric whilst Prince Bombo demanded food. Thomas was very busy for the rest of the morning. He did manage to find time to go and tell the Magician of the visitors’ plans for the Dragon.

Princess Jasmine had been introduced to the three and then she went and locked herself in her room and refused to come out or speak to anyone.

Queen Jessamy left her to sulk and went down to the Kitchens to prepare the evening meal.

King Oswald fretted and fumed, but there was little he could do as his foot was even more painful than ever.

The Magician mixed and magicked, locked away in his room.

Nurse wandered the Castle corridors calling for her 'Little Lambkins' and promising the nicest of treats if he appeared and threatening the most terrible of punishments if he did not.

Mr. Henry the Butler, slept peacefully in his Pantry.

After lunch, which was simple but perfect, Thomas washed the dishes, took some seaweed to the dragon and went upstairs to talk to the Magician. King Oswald settled down for a nap. Queen Jessamy picked up her knitting and sat happily making whatever it was she was making. The three would be heroes wandered the Castle battlements arguing about who was to go first to deal with the dragon. Princess Jasmine stayed in her room. Nurse had given up her search and was sat in the Nursery feeding cod liver oil to the cat and singing it a lullaby. The cat enjoyed the cod liver oil and was purring loudly enough to hide the strange noises coming from the Nurse.

The Magician had finished his spell making. “That was an interesting challenge, but I think I am ready to deal with those three.” He gave Thomas three boxes. He went on, “This is for Sir Roger, this for Sir Cedric and this for Prince Bombo. See I have drawn a picture of each man on the lid. You must make sure that you are the one who takes each one down to the Dungeons. Put the box on the floor outside the door and then run. Oh, and you had better warn the dragon to keep very still and not speak whatever happens after that.”

Thomas nodded and carefully took the boxes. He went down to the Dungeon with some more seaweed and told the Dragon what was happening.

“I am very grateful,” said the Dragon. “I am sorry to be such a bother.”

“Never mind,” said Thomas. “It is not your fault they built a Castle wall over your tail.

“I wish I had never left the Islands,” snuffed the dragon. “I can tell you now that if I get free from this I am going straight home. And if anyone wants any other errands doing they can ask someone else.” A tear trickled down its cheek.

Thomas asked, “Where are these Islands then?”

The dragon sighed. “They are straight out across the bay, just below the horizon. I was on my way there when I stopped for this little nap. They are very beautiful, but best of all there are no people on them. Sorry and all that, but you know we DO have problems with you humans.”

Thomas nodded. “I understand. There are some unpleasant kinds of people. Why are there none on the Islands? Have the Royal Dragons eaten them?”

“Bless you no. There are no people on the Islands because you can only reach them if you are magic creatures, like dragons. They are peaceful and safe and the beaches are covered in every kind of seaweed you can imagine. And talking of seaweed,” The dragon gave a little cough, “I don't suppose you could manage some more could you, please?”

“I will bring you some more as soon as I can, “promised Thomas. “But I have to go and help get the food ready for King Oswald and the others.”

Hard work was not new to Thomas and perhaps a good job too as there was plenty to do. He helped the Queen prepare a simple meal, helped Henry Butler serve it and took some seaweed down to the dragon.

“The three dragon slayers, whoops sorry!” Thomas said as the dragon winced. He tried again. “The three idiots are arguing about who should go first.”

“They should draw cards and the one who gets the highest goes first, “said the dragon. “I just wish they would all go home. I will not fight. I hope your Magician's ideas work.”

So did Thomas.

After washing the dishes, Thomas went up to the Throne room. He listened at the door. The three were still discussing the fairest way to decide who was to have the honour of being the first.

“After all, “said Sir Cedric. “The first person to go in might just get lucky and kill the beast before the others get a chance.”

“Especially if it is I,” boasted Sir Roger. “My sword will pierce even the toughest scales.”

Prince Bombo, waved the chocolate éclair that he was eating and protested. “My poison is guaranteed to kill any beast, even magic ones like a dragon.”

Sir Cedric sneered. “You idiots do not stand any chance. Everyone knows that music can send even the fiercest of wild animals to sleep. Then my knife will find its throat.”

Through the keyhole Thomas could see that King Oswald was sat on his throne, leg up on a stool and looking as bored as could be. Thomas knocked on the door and went in. Queen Jessamy was playing Patience at the table.

Thomas bowed, “I believe our heroes are having trouble deciding on who is to go first. May I suggest they choose a card each and that the one with the highest wins?”

King Oswald seemed glad of the interruption and as the Queen's Patience was not going to work, she lent them her pack of cards. She shuffled them. Sir Roger picked out the Three of Spades, Sir Cedric drew the Queen of Diamonds and Prince Bombo the Ten of Clubs. So it was decided that Sir Cedric would go first, followed by Prince Bombo and Sir Roger last.

“Now, announced the King. “I think you three had better have an early night so as to be ready for the dragon slaying in the morning.”

Sir Roger agreed. “A good night's sleep is what is needed before a battle.”

Sir Cedric nodded. “Yes and a good hot bath first to help one relax, I think.”

“I say,” protested Prince Bombo. “What about supper?”

“Thomas will bring hot water and Supper will be served in your room.” King Oswald had had enough from the tone of his voice. The three adventurers had no choice but to bow and make their exits.

Thomas bowed and followed. As he closed the door he heard the King remark. “You know, I almost prefer a hiccupping Castle to anyone of those idiots.”

When Sir Roger was tucked up in bed and Sir Cedric had bathed and been wrapped in big fluffy towels and Prince Bombo fed, Thomas had a few minutes to go and see Princess Jasmine. She refused to open her door even for him, but he managed to explain the Magician's plan to her through the keyhole. Finally he went to talk to the Magician.

“Ah, Thomas, come in. I was just having a bite of supper, Will you join me?” He waved to his table where there was a large plate full of roast duck and green peas.

Thomas looked surprised. He did not remember anyone cooking that.

“Magic has got some uses,” smiled the Magician.

Thomas agreed and sat down to eat.

When they had finished the Magician gave Thomas a message for the dragon. “Tell him to wait for about ten minutes after each of them has left, before giving its tail a good waggle.”

Thomas nodded and made his way down to the Dungeons once again.

The Dragon nodded, “But I really do not like the noises of things falling over when I do it,”

“Don't worry,” Thomas told him. “It is me that has to tidy up and I don't mind.”

Then with a tired sigh, Thomas went to his own bed.

[ideasguy]

James did the copy and paste of the three postings ending Chapter 2 into WORD, saved the document and printed it off.
These kids are easily taught
We didn't have time to read after that, but we will start tomorrow.

[Palustris]

Chapter Four

After breakfast, Thomas watched Sir Cedric getting ready. The lute was tuned and the throat oiled. Sir Cedric practised a few chords and sang some scales. His voice kept on going squeaky and his fingers trembled on the strings. The poor man looked rather pale, but he declared himself ready. Thomas led him down to the Dungeons.

He complained all the way down that Thomas was walking too quickly. When they reached the dragon's Dungeon, he complained about the smell of rotting seaweed. Thomas opened the door and stood back to let the hero enter. Sir Cedric went in. Thomas put the box inside the door, opened the lid, closed the Dungeon door and left.

Sir Cedric began to strum on his lute and to sing a soft soothing lullaby. No doubt he expected to be roasted and eaten at any moment. When nothing happened he got a little more adventurous and advanced further into the room. He played and sang better too as he got less nervous. Over the top of his playing he could hear a sound like a very large cat purring. He crept forward. In the centre of the room was a large blue dragon head, eyes closed and snoring gently. Carefully Sir Cedric stopped singing. The dragon continued to sleep. Sir Cedric stopped playing. The dragon did not stir. Gently Sir Cedric put the lute on the floor and drew his dagger. The dragon slept on. Sir Cedric crept up close and prepared to plunge his dagger into the sleeping beast.

As he drew his arm back a red dragon head appeared over his shoulder and said “Boo!”

Horrified, Sir Cedric looked at the two yellow eyes only inches away from his face. His nervous gaze followed the head down the neck to where it joined the dragon’s body. This was a two headed dragon.

The last thing anyone saw of Sir Cedric was his back as he rode madly away from the Castle. He did not even stop to pack his clothes or say 'Goodbye.”

A few minutes later the Castle hiccupped.

King Oswald sighed and turned to Prince Bombo. “Your turn!”

The Prince turned white and stammered, “Perhaps I should wait 'til after lunch”

“No time like the present, “said King Oswald. “You can have a jolly good feast after you have killed the dragon.”

So the Prince had to go. He asked for a piece of meat, which Thomas brought from the Pantry. Thomas led him down to the Dungeons and as before, opened the lid of the box and fled.

Prince Bombo crept quietly into the Dungeon. When his eyes got used to the gloom, he could see a large purple dragon sleeping peacefully in the centre of the room. Quietly the Prince took out the bottle of poison and sprinkled it all over the meat. He pushed the meat under the dragon’s nose and hid behind the door. Sounds of messy eating drifted out to him, then silence. He waited for the poison to work then he went back into the Dungeon. The dragon lay on its side seemingly dead. Bombo crept closer to make sure. He stood by its side. A purple scaly leg folded him in its grasp and the head turned towards him. Bombo gave a squeak and turned white.

“My dear boy, what a delightful surprise. How pleasant to see you,” drawled the dragon in a very posh voice.

“And what a tasty piece of meat that was. The sauce was quite, quite delicious. It had a certain something about it, a tongue tingling sharpness that I really enjoyed. A pity you did not serve a nice crisp green salad with it, but never mind. These Castles often have very poor kitchens, eh what?”

“Yes, er no er..” Prince Bombo did not know what to say.

“Quite,” went on the dragon. “Still I must not detain you, I am sure you have other fish to fry.” It laughed at its own rather weak joke, sending two plumes of smoke billowing from its nostrils. “I wonder what I should have for seconds,” added the dragon thoughtfully.

Prince Bombo wriggled from its grasp and the last anyone saw of him was his back as he fled the Castle. He did not even stop for lunch.

Ten minutes later the Castle hiccupped. King Oswald spilt his tea.

Now it was Sir Roger's turn. “Fear not Sire, the dragon has not been born which can face the strength of my right arm.”

All went as before. This time it was an orange dragon which lay in the Dungeons. Sir Roger gripped his sword firmly and advanced. To his astonishment, the dragon burst into tears. Sir Roger stopped.

The dragon went on snivelling. “It's not fair, “it wept, while great orange tears dripped down its face. “Everyone picks on me just because I am a dragon. I mean I cannot help being what I am. I did not ask to be born a dragon. I did not ask to be born at all. “

Come now,” said Sir Roger. “Bear up, take it like a man.”

“But I am not a man,” replied the dragon as the tears flowed faster. “I do not see why big bullies of knights should pick on little dragons like me, just because I got trapped in this deep, dark, horrid little dungeon. I have never done you any harm I have never done anyone any harm.

When Sir Roger began to speak the dragon, help up a claw to stop him. “Oh, yes, I know there are some dragons which are supposed to have eaten humans. Well, maybe they have when there was nothing else left to eat, but why do ALL dragons have to suffer because of it? I mean, how many of your family have been eaten by a dragon?”

Sir Roger had to admit that no-one in his family had suffered that fate. “I have read about it in books.”

“Oh, yes BOOKS! I have read about evil knights who attack and kill innocent humans in books, but people do not go round trying to kill ALL knights because of what they have read in books, now do they?” The dragon sniffed.

“But that is different,” protested Sir Roger weakly.

“No it isn't. How would you like it if you got locked in a dungeon and armoured dragons came to try and kill you?”

Sir Roger shook his head. “No, I suppose I would not like that at all.” He was beginning to feel sorry for the dragon.

The dragon sighed. “Ah, well! I suppose we had better get on with it. May I say my prayers first?”

“Yes, of course,” said Sir Roger. He was no longer looking forward to killing this dragon.

The dragon folded its wings in front of its face and mumbled a few quiet words, and then it stretched out its neck. Sir Roger raised his sword. The dragon looked up at him with tearful eyes.

“One last request please?”

Sir Roger nodded. He could not bring himself to speak.

“Could you get a message to my poor old widowed mother and tell her that my last thoughts were of her?” A single tear trickled down the dragon's cheek.

Sir Roger raised his sword again but he could no longer see where to strike. His eyes were too misty and dim. A single tear ran down his cheek, soon followed by a whole stream of them.

He was still sobbing when he left the Castle vowing never to fight again.

Five minutes later the Castle hiccuped. King Oswald's bad leg slipped off the stool. He swore. Thomas, who was busy making sandwiches for lunch smiled. He took them up to the Throne room.

“Ah, Thomas. The Queen and I have decided that enough is enough. We are moving into the town this afternoon. Pack the bags please.” King Oswald sounded thoroughly fed up.

“Oh, there is no need for that, Sire. I will get rid of the dragon for you.”

“You?”

“Yes. Sire!”

“You have until teatime!”

Thomas went up to the Magician's room. The spell was ready. Thomas took it down to the Dungeons. The Dragon told him of what had gone on with the three would be dragon killers. He had enjoyed it very much.

Thomas painted the Castle wall with the spell as he had been instructed. The wall disappeared. The dragon slipped quickly through the hole and the wall reappeared.

Thomas ran quickly up stairs to the Throne room and asked the King and Queen to go out on to the battlements to watch. The dragon cart-wheeled round the sky. It swooped low over Thomas's head and shouted

“Thank-you and goodbye.” Then with a final flourish it sped out across the Bay towards the distant horizon.

“Now I suppose you will want to marry the Princess,” said King Oswald to Thomas.

“If Princess Jasmine does not mind, your Highness, I would rather not. Kitchen boys do not marry Princesses except in Fairy stories.”

Princess Jasmine, who had left her room when Sir Roger went, shook her head. “I do not mind at all.”

“You must have some reward though,” smiled Queen Jessamy.

Thomas took a deep breath. “Well, actually your majesties, there is something. I would like to go to School. There is one where you learn how to be a Butler. Then I could take over from Mr. Henry in a few years time.”

King Oswald nodded. “That is a very sensible request. It shall be done.”

“Besides, it was more the Magician who finally got rid of the dragon than me.” Thomas had to be honest.

“Then I suppose he will want to marry the Princess,” sighed the King.

The Magician was leaning out of his window. “If Princess Jasmine does not mind, I would rather not. I think I am a bit old for her really.”

Princess Jasmine did not mind in the least.

“But you must have some reward, “protested the King.

“Well, you could stop Nurse from trying to feed me those awful sweets,” said the Magician.

“Done!” said King Oswald.