Author Topic: Some corn to go with the roast veg at Christmas  (Read 4205 times)

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Offline Trevor Ellis

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Some corn to go with the roast veg at Christmas
« on: December 24, 2009, 10:07:17 AM »
THE  DUCK IS DEAD

A woman brought a very limp
 duck into a veterinary  surgeon. As she laid her pet on
 the table, the vet pulled out his  stethoscope and
 listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or  two,
 the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry,
 your duck,  Cuddles, has passed
 away."

The distressed woman wailed,
 "Are you  sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The
 duck is dead," replied the
  vet.

"How can you be so
 sure?" she protested.. "I mean you haven't
  done any testing on him or anything. He might just
 be in a coma or
  something."

The vet rolled his eyes,
 turned around and left the  room.
 
He returned a few minutes
 later with a black Labrador
  Retriever.
 
As the duck's owner
 looked on in amazement, the dog  stood on his hind
 legs, put his front paws on the examination table and
  sniffed the duck from top to
bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad  eyes
 and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on
 the head and  took it out of the
 room.

A few minutes later he
 returned with a  cat.
 
The cat jumped on the table
 and also
 delicately sniffed the  bird from head to foot. The
 cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head,  meowed
 softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the
  woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said,
 this is most definitely, 100%  certifiably, a dead
 duck."

 The vet turned to his
 computer terminal,  hit a few keys and produced a bill,
 which he handed to the  woman.
 
The duck's owner, still
 in shock, took the  bill.

"250?" she cried,
 "250 just to tell me my duck is
  dead?"

The vet shrugged,
 "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word  for
 it, the bill would have been 20, but
 with the Lab Report and the Cat  Scan, it's now
 250."

Online ideasguy

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Re: Some corn to go with the roast veg at Christmas
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2009, 10:11:29 AM »
Nice one!
I sent that on to one my dog loving friends Trevor. Thanks for giving us a laugh ;D

Offline roiphil

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Re: Some corn to go with the roast veg at Christmas
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2009, 01:59:00 PM »
very funny
We know a woman that actually took a duck to the vets to put down via injection as she or her husband did not have the heart to break its neck, the duck was a pet, that just goes to show how attached you can get to your animals,

Couple of years ago we came across an abused puppy probably about 2 months old which had its leg broken, we took it in to the vets and he said the leg had been broken for some time and the bones had started to grow together wrongly and it could cost thousands to fix and it still may not be corrected properly, he advised the best and humanely thing to do was to have it put down, i could not stay in the room whilst he done it, yet i can go to a chicken , duck, etc and humanely kill it, as i have a humane despatcher, and pluck it etc and not have a second thought about it, strange

Phil