I thought you might enjoy reading this Binetti Version of ‘Twas the Night before Christmas’.
T’was the week before Christmas, and all through the yard, not a gift
was given, not even a card.
The tools were all hung, in the carport with care, with hopes that St. Nicholas
soon would repair.
The shovel with blade all rusty and cracked, the pitchfork still shiny,
but handle it lacked.
When out on my lawns, (It‘s brown and abused) I could see poor old
Santa, looking confused.
No list had been left for Santa to see, no gardening gifts were
under the tree.
But wait there’s still time, it’s not Christmas yet, and gardening gifts
are the quickest to get.
You can forget the silk tie, the fluffy new sweater; give something
to make the garden grow better.
If she wants a gift shiny, then don’t be a fool, it’s not a dumb
diamond, but a sparkling new tool.
If fragrance is listed you can forget French perfume, it’s a pile
of manure that’ll make gardeners swoon.
Give night crawlers, not nightgowns, the type of hose that gives
water. (Anything for the kitchen is not worth the bother.)
Give a great gift that digs in the dirt, it’s better than any
designer-brand shirt.
Now look quick at Santa, the guy’s not so dumb, Under his glove,
he hides a green thumb.
His knees are so dirty, his back how it aches, his boots stomp on slugs,
(he gives them no breaks).
The guy only works winter, you can surely see why, The rest of the
year it’s a gardening high.
Elves plant in the spring, pull weeds merrily all summer, in fall they all harvest,
but winter’s a bummer.
And so Christmas gives Santa a part-time employment, ‘Till spring
when the blooms are his real life enjoyment.
So ask the big guy for garden gifts this year, Seeds, plants and tools,
Santa holds them all dear.
You see malls may be crowded, vendors hawking their ware, but visit
a nursery, stress-free shopping is there.
Now Santa’s flown off, to the nursery he goes, and his voice fills the
night with loud Hoe! Hoe! Hoes!
Marianne Binetti has a degree in horticulture from Washington State University and is the author of “Easy Answers for Great Gardens”. She writes a regular Gardening Column for a local newspaper. She lives in a neighboring community nearby. Ms. Binetti also states: “anyone who wants to can reprint this column without my permission or copy write restrictions”. MERRY CHRISTMAS!
